Dear Lord...I Thank Thee...That Today Is Over

Need a laugh? Read the following. It's kind of long, but it will make you laugh, especially if you know my 4 year old, David.

Seriously, this was my prayer on Sunday. It was one of those Sundays. You know, the ones that happen where you think, "Is this seriously what I signed up for???" Every Sunday I get 6 kids and myself ready and on time to church because my husband has an early meeting (with the exception of the daylights saving Sunday when we forgot to set our clocks ahead, and I had to speak in church and was REALLY late.) Anyway, my Sunday started off like this...

Joe was upset because he still couldn't tie his tie right, he's 10. His Dad promised him $5 if he comes to church with his tie tied, and he does it himself. Mom has done it the past 3 weeks, at least I have learned how to tie a tie, while nursing a baby.

Joe showed us all that he had mad gas in the car, I couldn't wait until church.

After the music started David climbed over the bench to sit with the family in front of us, Sam crawled under the bench to sit with them.

During the sacrament (which is supposed to be THE most reverent part of the meeting) Joe passed an SBD, VERY DEADLY. Then the baby tooted so incredibly loud, filled her pants and Joe announced to everyone that it was definitely not him that did that.

Then it was time for the primary presentation - a meeting where all of the little children go up and get to say a part and sing the songs we have been learning in primary this year. I tried bribing David, told him I would pay him $1 if he says his part and sits nicely. He knew his part really well.

Well, apparently the dollar wasn't enough. He ran up and climbed under the sacrament table and refused to come out. When I got him out he started punching and kicking me. As I am carrying him out (in front of the whole congregation) he starts yelling, "No, mom, don't put soap in my mouth, don't spank me, don't buckle me in Abby's seat!!!" So, yes, my kids get punished when they misbehave, now it is out. As I carried him on my hip to the hallway he yells, "mom, your hurting my wiener." Apparently my hip is bigger than I though it was.

I wrestled him into the van, buckled him in Abby's car seat then closed and locked the door. I went back into the church for a minute to see if he had missed his part. All of a sudden I heard "BEEP!!! BEEP!!! BEEP!!!" Hmmm, wonder whose car that was? I got to the car and he is laughing because he some how managed to open the door, and set off the alarm. That is when the tears came... from me, we have a "discussion" (which included threats that Santa is going to give me any presents - I was DESPERATE) and David realized he needed to behave, and we went back into the chapel and he was really good for the rest of the program.

Then primary comes. Dad helped with him for awhile and then David went to class. I peaked into his room and he was wrestling on the floor with another kid, no shoes, so I took him out and went to put him back in the van again, planning on just sitting out there with him and cry. I turned my back and he was gone. He ran all the way to the other side of the building where the kids in nursery were blowing bubbles. At this point I picked him up and took him to his Dad............... where he gets popcorn. REALLY??? I guess it kept him quiet.

By the time I got out to the van after church, David not only had lost his shoes, but also had taken off his shirt and run around the parking lot.

That was just church, at home it wasn't much better. A big piece of "My Favorite Awesome Chocolate Cake - Ever" (click here for the recipe - sooooooo good) was in the fridge to comfort me, so that helped. At the end of the day I was thankful that I had not injured him, and that we were both alive. I gave thanks for the Savior, our home, the food we have to eat, and...THAT THE DAY WAS FINALLY OVER. I slept really well last night. And, we will be back next week.